A young man was starting out in life and left his home in search of his own adventure. He knew he was expected to find work and a women to love, but he didn’t think that was important. He wanted adventure. He wanted to visit other villages and meet lots of different people. He wanted to see the world. So he wondered from village to village often relying on the help of strangers to survive his day to day existence.
Eventually he came upon a women in a village that made him want to stay. She seemed so lovely to him that he did not want to leave without her. So he searched for permanent work in this village. He tried hard to make his own way so that he had something to offer this wonderful women he has met. But he was loving her from afar. He had had very little in the way of conversations with her. He did not know what was important to her and what it was that she was looking for. But he saw her eyes light up and a big smile on her beautiful face as he told his stories of adventures in different villages. She would sits for hours listening to him talk. She seemed so interested in him and so keen to hear all his tails. He was sure she felt the same way about him.
As time went by he found himself a permanent job. He saved up his money and managed to build his own house. Having finally created a home he approached the women more directly. He now had a home to offer, would she like to join him in it?
This women looked at him with disappointment and said that when he had first arrived he was different to the other men. He was a wonderer who understood that he need not stay in one place but could adventure from village to village. She loved that about him. She really wanted to join him on that road, seeing the world and meeting many different people. But he had chosen the stability of tradition. He had assumed that what she wanted was the same as the women that had gone before her. He hadn’t listened or seen how she reacted to his tails of adventure across the different villages. She did not want the life he was now offering, but wanted the life he had before this village.
The man reflected with sadness on how much he missed that life. This new life had been established for her. He did not want it, but had thought it was the only way she would join him. He had not noticed that he didn’t need to change for her. He did not see that her view of a good life was different to those around her.
How often do we change based on what we think other people want?