Remorse

America, the 1920s, a period in history where opportunities seemed never ending, when everyone felt like they could make it, and money flowed freely.  Looking around at this society embracing excess, was a young man. He had come to the new world from Ireland and he was filled with confidence and excitement. He was here to make his fortune.

He jumped out of bed early one morning and took his time to dress. Today he was going to buy stock and start a business. He needed to look smart. He needed to look like the successful business man he knew he could be. So he put on his best suit (well his only suit at that moment, but that would change if he could just make a good purchase today.) He carefully washed and brushed his hair. He made sure he was cleanly shaven. Once he was pleased that he looked the part he took a deep breath and walked outside.

Outside the sun was shining, it was a beautiful day. “The perfect day to start my business”, he thought and head held high, he walked down the street. The previous day he had met a friend that had told him about a market near the docks that was selling oranges for a fraction of the price sold in town. He had money in his pocket so he was going to buy as many oranges as he could and bring them back into town to sell them. He was confident that he could double his money within a day.

As he walked down the street towards the dock he happened to pass by an old friend. This was someone he had known from Ireland. This friend waved him over and suggested he join him for a quick drink to catch up before going down to the docks. After pausing for a minute to think about it, he decided to go. After all the docks would not be open yet and you never know, perhaps this friend knew of other good deals that were to be had.

One drink turned into two, and others soon joined in. He was a having a good time indeed. Everyone had a plan and story about how to make millions – so he sat there talking, drinking and making plans. Before he knew it, the pub was closing and day had ended. As he left that pub with empty pockets he was filled with self loathing. He had not even tried to start his business today, but he had spent all his money. Having started the day with such hope and optimism, he walked out of that pub and puked.

He was sick of who he was, today had been no different to any other day. He was unable to say no to something he knew he couldn’t control and he knew would bring him nothing but hurt. He hated the person he had become today, and he didn’t know how he would pick himself up the next day to try again.

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